I'm traffickin' that (Grade B Maple) Sizurp!

So I'm leaving my office today and its roughly 6pm-ish... and I'm in the middle of Downtown. Normally, at this time of the day the traffic has tappered off. In light of the dark (thunderstorm) that blanketed the city an hour prior, DT was gridlocked. So as I sat at the intersection of Ross and St. Paul, I contemplated my options.

Do I go my normal route on 45 and skirt around the outer limits to my destination? Or do I turn around and hit the Woodall Rogers to hop on 35, which is a more direct route, but sure to be packed like a slave ship? Do I turn around and wait it out at my office until 7pm which hopefully will mean less congestion because DAMN my gas light DID come on during my drive IN this morning and sitting here for 30 minutes and traveling less than a mile is BOUND to deplete the petroleum supply, potentially rendering me STRANDED on somebody's interstate, lest I should neglect to "fill'er up" before I arrive home? Decisions, decisions. I ended up wading thru the traffic and getting on 45... but while I sat there driving, I had many interesting thoughts..... It went a lil bit like this...

6:04pm ((exiting the parking garage))- DANG its a lot of cars on the street... Aint nobody gonna let me in. Oh wait! Caught the Waste Management truck slippin. I'm SKIPPIN YOU dude! (Cutting thru traffic) Times like this, I appreciate that I drive a coupe. Damn a 4x4! Yoooo! That Avalanche saw me trying to get over. Bastard! I bet its a no-driving mexican.((sees the stereotypical olde english surname across the backglass)) Yep. I knew it. 6:20 ((less than .33 miles covered))Lalala... (singing "Outta my System")) "I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick, outta town visits, all the time we spendtogether... (memories kick in) and then as always, I'm within a close proximity of Nick's house... singing this damn song that reminds me of what was(not), as does this intersection. Consider calling him for temporary shelter from this weather/traffic but decide that would be TRULY detrimental to the progress I've made by silencing all communication. Damn, I need to get a manicure tomorrow. (looks in the rearview) AND my roots are hideous! Wont be no socializing this weekend for ME unless my favorite Asian can get these dreaded-locks, "chopstick straight"... and at least of the same hue, horizontally that is. 6:25 ((I've moved up about 2 car spaces)) Its gonna be nice to live down here again. If I'd already moved by now, I'd probably have walked this morning and subsequently, had to walk home in the rain with an umbrella... and potentially have been struck by lightning on my way home because I think my umbrella-ella-ella-ella (sing it Rhianna!) has a metal piece on the top. And I JUST saw that story on Fox4News about that man who caught a lightning strike on camera, where two kids were within inches of being struck. And I aint ready to die... I have a new ultrachic pad to move into... and an empire to run... and other empires to trample like "pink cookies in a plastic bag getting crushed by buildings" (stop lickin your lips LL), and Apple is turning 2 next month, I'm weeks away from my 26th, I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! *gasps!* What if I'd walked and got struck(en)? No pretty little (bad assed) children named Winter Noelle and Autumn Loren and Cipriano Terrell _____ and a Mr. John _____, my ultra-fabulous husband who knows the exact # of freckles on my face... that I will help put on his Depends (in our old age of course)... no romantic getaways to Mykonos Islands, Greece... no FABULOUS at 50 Birthday party for yours truly?

((kisses imaginary rosary, does a few air "hail Mary's" and assimilates the ever-popular "anointing head with oil" on my forehead... all for good measure.)) But I'm alive. And I'm safe... thank you God.

But foreal does that mean that when I DO move, I'll be driving less than .1 mile to work just to avoid getting caught out in the elements? Elijah says I wont want to walk once it gets hot this summer, but I beg to differ. It aint that far. Really. 6:30 ((Some crinkly micro-braid wearing trannie pulls along side my car, lots of open space ahead of shim, yet heshe's sitting idle beside me... Bitch must think heshe's gone skip. NOOOOOTT! ((scoots closer to the Fake-Phantom (read:Chrysler 300) so that shim cant slide in front. I've been sitting here TOO dang long. I am not in the mood. ((Flip to 97.9... Bow Wow and T-Pain are crooning again... here I go again yall!)) "I'm too attached my heart wont let me fall back. I got it bad thats what you could call that..." Thoughts shift back to Nick. GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN! If I rubuketh thee, then thee must flee! Git! Scat! (This whole Nick thing really bothers me at times... certain songs trigger emotions I guess) Okay anyway, I'm still burning gas and facing eminant stallege (spellcheck? BRAINFART!) if I dont either get to gettin', or stop and get some gas. Shit! Shigetty Shit! Shit! Shit! 6:34 (stomach growling) I started this Master Cleanse diet today and despite that it was going HELLA GOOD during the day, I want some CHICKEN SALAD dammit! But hell, I cannot just give up after I impulsively spent $40 (that was not in my original allotment of cash for the day) in Ann's Health Food today getting all the proper ingredients for this lemonade diet (that allegedly worked for Benonsense, should work for me!) ANNNND I even bought that damn canary-yellow, staple-bound book thats supposed to "coach" me thru the diet (said the over-enthusiastic white man in Ann's) even though he said not to feel pressured to buy it and that I could come in and read at my own leisure, but me, considering the many NIGGA-RISMS of my people, thought it'd be a show of good-faith to just pay $6.99 for the damn thing and not be trifling but DAMMIT, I read the ENTIRE book cover to cover by 2pm (it wasnt that busy today)...so that was a waste of money... so there i SAT, hungrier than Ruben Studdard in the AI greenroom immediately after Corner Bakery dropped off their Pastry-trays. ((That cream strudle cake is the LICK though!)) So around 6:45 I end up getting ON 45 and the whole way, I weigh the pro and cons for staying on this Master Cleanse. And the recurring vision was of ME in a bikini, rivaling Gabby Reese on South Miami Beach... taunting her in the soft, almost indeciferable tone of Diddy (Hey Gabby! Take that, take that, take that!). But it was shortlived.

I got a bowl of Chicken Salad when I walked it. Saltines and all. I think I'm gonna have to alter this lemonade diet to my own likeness.

The word of today is FAILURE. Spelled H-U-N-G-R-Y-A-N-D-B-I-T-C-H-Y! But in keeping with my typical hustla-mentality, if it turns out that I forfeit the Master Cleanse, then I have 7/8 of my bottle of Grade B Maple syrup, 1/2 a jar of Cheyenne Pepper and about 15 oz. of Pure lemon juice. Anyone wanna PayPal me $10 for this lot? I'll throw the book in for $2. **justjoking**

Holla back.

Summer G

Busy...

Will update tomorrow.

Parking $10 M-F 6am-6pm. Happiness FREE 24/7.

Happiness is wanting what you have - not having what you want.

Now THERE's some food for thought. I've heard this proverb a few times over the past few years and tonight, I feel like several people that I've conversed with recently could stand to recite this to themselves a few times...let it marinate.

Just imagine... being happy with what you have instead of being unhappy about what you dont. Hmph...

In the land of milk and honey, instant-credit approval and virtual access to everything under the sun... where the abundance of money offers empty promises of stability and security, happiness and satisfaction, peace of mind and possibility... where, for the right price YOU, TOO, could choose to endulge in careless sex and simply opt to buy-a-cure for A.I.D.'s almost as easily as you could buy a house... have we as a generation of hip-hop hopefuls and mini-moguls gotten so far detached from the simplicities of life and that we can no longer be satisfied without our luxuries and content with whatever state we happen to be in? Laziness and competency not withstanding, how many of YOU could honestly see yourselves operating in a mindsate of contentment regardless of your financial grade/standard of living? Would you be equally as HAPPY living in a 420 sq.ft. efficiency as you would a 8,000 sq.ft. home? Does the thought of trading in your 2006 Mercedes-Benz for a DART buspass immediately cause your heartrate to accelerate as your brain heads toward delirium? Have you ever found yourself sitting in front of your 27" TV watching MTV's Cribs, just wishing/hoping/praying for one fateful opportunity to trade in your blue-collar boyfriend for the likes of Travis Barker or Tyrese, in hopes of living a lifestyle like they do?? Take a moment to consider your 3 favorite people/most prized posessions and then how you would feel if all three of them were destroyed permanantly lost, or died...

Would you go into a depression? Or would you shake it off, accept the will of God and continue through your life with faith and happiness?

And then part B to this proverb adds that Happiness is not about having what you want. All tooooo many times I've wanted something/someone with what seems to be, my whole heart! I mean, it was something that stayed with me for a while... that the desires of my heart just WERE to attain this thing/person. But as time/God would have it, I didnt get what it was that I'd been wanting, which has repeatedly turned out to be the best thing ever. Because let's face it, things we think that look good from far, upon closer inspection (and revelation) often turn out to be far from good (for us).

In short, Happiness is not found in things/people... real Happiness is found in acheiving that peace of mind with God/self and your place in life. And on another note, its also important to realize that one person's small gesture is another person's big deal. Happiness is personal and its RELATIVE. If someone you know is happy with his/her life, leave them to their happy state. Encourage them, yes... but don't be a dream-killer and a joy-jacker. Dont you walk in reminding them of why they shouldnt be happy, or start comparing their situation to anything from their past. Instead, inspire your brothers and sisters to greatness and success by discovering your own daily happiness and leaving by example.

As I reflect on today, yeah... I'm pretty happy. I'm happy with everything that I have and VERY happy about not getting what I thought I wanted.

Get Happy!

~SG~

This Is What Happens When You Lie...

This day has been HILARITY at its finest. Some people just really dont know when to leave well enough alone. **shame on you** My older blog was accidentally deleted today... or perhaps hacked into... (stranger things have happened)... but not to worry...

Everything was archived and I'm in the process of rebuilding. In the meantime, feel free to leave me a comment about what you'd like to read on this new spot. I'm thinking of some serious interior decorating to spruce up the place. ;)

And dont y'all dare worry about whether or not this spot will be as entertaining as the last........

TRUST... you aint read NOTHIN yet!!!

~SG~